The Spoon Theory – My spoons

The Spoon Theory, original post

I have an invisible illness. I dont ‘LOOK’ sick. But I am. I can function fairly well off of medications, and I have for almost 3 years now. Recently though, I have decided to go back onto them and I am trying to find a new dr in a new town (that is an ENTIRELY different post).

I HAVE to have at least 10 hours of sleep, if I can have 12, I am better off. This isnt much of an option, not getting that cuts my ‘spoons’ short. I dont go out and party or stay out late because of this. I am at home, reading usually.

My Anxiety, is cruel, and if I push it too far and keep doing things that make me anxious? I will work myself into a full blown attack.

My Depression will flare up at the most inconveint times as well. And it comes from pushing my self to hard, and insisting i keep going even though my body clearly says NO.

Anxiety and Depression are the ways that my illness shows through most often. Well, at least the ways that I know I have over done myself, I dont know about what others see first, ask them.

This past week and into the weekend, I tried my hardest to twist, bend, stretch and melt a metal spoon.

I came home monday to a clean home, who my wonderful family had cleaned for me so I could rest. I have undying affection for small things such as this. They bought food to feed us, so i didnt feel like I had to cook. Today, I was able to rest and do not much. At the end of this day, I feel rested and I can do the rest of the week.

When you see someone who is just a little more stressed then normal, or has an illness you cant see, it doesnt mean it is less real. You just cant see it on the outside. I promise you if you saw me sunday evening, you would have ‘gotten it’.

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One thought on “The Spoon Theory – My spoons

  1. Dark Angel says:

    So true honey! I’m here for you if you ever need a friend!!

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